Addictive chaos.

[Genre: Existential Philosophy]

Re-fascinated by the fact of my own existence amongst a group alike.

I searched and I surfed

Being conscious, being murfed 
The question still lurked
How is it all been worked

So the life am leading as of now is an undergraduate student who has just embarked the final year of the course in Engineering , she undertook.

It has been well , it has been all set, explored horizons,places, gathered skills, made connections, some of them are just so irrevocable. Possessing a bag of memories, adventures and unexpected incidents, there I go again.

The worst thing about life is certainty. When you have nothing you feel restless, when you have a thing, still you feel restless, I wonder if I have been so habituated to this restlessness that I just can't live without it.

Haunting uncertainty and the thrill of unexpected dealings to come , just make the life so much worth living.

Being doomed in this particular way, I realize now the habit since my childhood to get fed up of attaining a stable state and destroying one's own order(attained after appreciable endurance), just to create the much needed entropy in life.

The chaos, the unpredictability.

Heard of vertigo in philosophical context? Somewhat same.
Urging the fall, falling, working your way up again.
This cycle has become an active unseen part of our lives, well it is so atleast in my life. Feels like some freaking movie is on, and you get to direct some scenes at times.

If I look back and glance at the reminiscence till the verge it fades, I realize for me life has been a subsequent series of responses to the decisions I took.
The decisions that were purely based on my will, on what I would like to do or what all I would like to have in my life. And it went well, it is all so good when you decide, you attain and you are happy in your eyes. 



Happiness and success is all so contextual, it is a topic highly personal, and yet the world out there is mad towards standardizing it socially. All want to attain and are running towards an undefined success.
Some believe money would help, some believe titles would. The irony is in the end it all goes away with the moments, and eventually you are left with yourself, so you are answerable to yourself, how good you feel about yourself is what that matters and supports you. 

So why chasing things out, why making perceptive decisions?

We have no freaking clue on where we live and why, we came from one world , we lived in one and we will go in some other. In this complexity of unknown , the life we have is a really small exhaustible resource.
But given all that, the wonder lies in the fact that in this small duration we are the doers, we are rather rewarded with the fortune of creating and doing , working things out , so why waste it?

It is going rather long, the whole point is do things you love and that matter and are aligned with your vision for your life.

PS: The above derivations and conclusions are based on some notions I simply assumed and decided to believe upon, Yours may differ in highly contrastive ways, it's all okay, since for life there is no reference. 


Mold yours, the way you want.

Happy Journey!

-Adieu

Amateur Critic